Tragedies bring out the best and worst in people, as history has shown. Some events are so horrific, they leave us with a loss of words and a sense of complete helplessness. In the wake of the devastating Japan earthquake, the stories don't seem to be getting any better. It's all still too fresh, raw and surreal. But this morning's Los Angeles Times featured a piece by Laura King, reporting from Tokyo, on the impeccable manners of the Japanese - the only thing that doesn't appear to have been destroyed by the seismic wrath. You can read the story online at www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/.
Reading it on page A6 of the Times is gut-wrenching, with the accompanying photo above the fold across two pages that no words can help comprehend. May this remind us all to give generously to aid organizations providing relief to those affected by this catastrophe, and to take stock of our own preparedness while taking note of the grace of the Japanese. It DOES Manner A lot!
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
MAY OSCAR BEHAVIOR BE 'GOLDEN'
It will be all things Oscar from now through tomorrow as the film industry honors its own before a global television audience, not to mention those in attendance at the Kodak Theater. I came across this piece which first appeared a few days ago in the Los Angeles Times, and can be found in today's Bakersfield Californian and online at http:/theenvelope.latimes.com/news/la-et-oscar-polish-20110225,0,1712933.story.
The article by the Times' Rebecca Keegan is a nice reminder of the importance of a stars' polished behavior on the biggest night of their lives. From Sacheen Littlefeather's Oscar refusal on Marlon Brando's behalf at the 1973 ceremony to the infamous streaker the following year, the mother of all awards shows may be hard to predict where the winners are concerned, but you can bank on at least one presenter or winner behaving badly. And that's what viewers SEE at home!
Covering the Academy Awards and its red carpet action as I did four times for 23News was always my favorite assignment. But it wasn't just the occasional bejeweled star behaving badly. Some sandwiched in like a sardine in the press corps deserved their own golden statues for incivility too. It was a sequined and black-tie shark tank. But it was always great fun, and tonight I will watch with fond memories of Oscar's golden night, and hopeful that those in the spotlight whom we admire on screen and follow off screen are on their best behavior. Because it DOES 'Manner' A lot! Enjoy this article and tonight's show.
The article by the Times' Rebecca Keegan is a nice reminder of the importance of a stars' polished behavior on the biggest night of their lives. From Sacheen Littlefeather's Oscar refusal on Marlon Brando's behalf at the 1973 ceremony to the infamous streaker the following year, the mother of all awards shows may be hard to predict where the winners are concerned, but you can bank on at least one presenter or winner behaving badly. And that's what viewers SEE at home!
Covering the Academy Awards and its red carpet action as I did four times for 23News was always my favorite assignment. But it wasn't just the occasional bejeweled star behaving badly. Some sandwiched in like a sardine in the press corps deserved their own golden statues for incivility too. It was a sequined and black-tie shark tank. But it was always great fun, and tonight I will watch with fond memories of Oscar's golden night, and hopeful that those in the spotlight whom we admire on screen and follow off screen are on their best behavior. Because it DOES 'Manner' A lot! Enjoy this article and tonight's show.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
THANK YOU NOTE
The Thank You note is the simplest of courtesies and yet the most overlooked, it seems nowadays. We have become a society in such a hurry to get through our to-do lists that so many consider the written expression of appreciation too time-consuming and archaic. But when it comes to the thank-you note, thankfully, times HAVE NOT changed as much as we think they may have.
It still takes less than five minutes to put pen to paper, address and stamp the envelope and walk it to the mailbox, same as it did 30 years ago. Okay, maybe ten minutes more if you're still using an ink quill. But that is still but a fraction of the time the gift-giver no doubt spent selecting and purchasing your present.
If you don't have informal stationary on hand, a simple card purchased at the drug store will suffice. It isn't necessary to send a note after a dinner party, but it will certainly be received as a lovely touch if you do.
E-mail thank-yous are arm-wrestling the traditional notes for social acceptance these days, especially in the techno-mindset of the business world. But unless you are expressing thanks to a prospective employer for the opportunity to interview for a job, don't express your appreciation electronically either by e-mail or text message.
Over the years, we've been the recipients of a number of the fill-in-the-blank notes following children's birthday parties. Why bother, really. There isn't a hint of personalized expression in a fill-in-the-blank form letter, even if it has cute clowns and balloons on it!
Make sure your grown son or daughter sends a hand-written note of thanks to those who wrote college application recommendations on their behalf, and to especially to those schools who gave them an interview or personalized tour.
And most importantly, write and send the note as quickly as possible, because the timely gesture of a handwritten expression of gratitude really DOES 'Manner' A lot!
It still takes less than five minutes to put pen to paper, address and stamp the envelope and walk it to the mailbox, same as it did 30 years ago. Okay, maybe ten minutes more if you're still using an ink quill. But that is still but a fraction of the time the gift-giver no doubt spent selecting and purchasing your present.
If you don't have informal stationary on hand, a simple card purchased at the drug store will suffice. It isn't necessary to send a note after a dinner party, but it will certainly be received as a lovely touch if you do.
E-mail thank-yous are arm-wrestling the traditional notes for social acceptance these days, especially in the techno-mindset of the business world. But unless you are expressing thanks to a prospective employer for the opportunity to interview for a job, don't express your appreciation electronically either by e-mail or text message.
Over the years, we've been the recipients of a number of the fill-in-the-blank notes following children's birthday parties. Why bother, really. There isn't a hint of personalized expression in a fill-in-the-blank form letter, even if it has cute clowns and balloons on it!
Make sure your grown son or daughter sends a hand-written note of thanks to those who wrote college application recommendations on their behalf, and to especially to those schools who gave them an interview or personalized tour.
And most importantly, write and send the note as quickly as possible, because the timely gesture of a handwritten expression of gratitude really DOES 'Manner' A lot!
Friday, February 4, 2011
BAKERSFIELD LIFE & Super Sunday
Thank you blog followers and readers for your positive response to the debut of this blog's companion column, It Manners A Lot, which premiered in last Saturday's February issue of Bakersfield Life Magazine. I look forward to having you along on this journey as we help polish social graces.
If you have not yet seen the latest issue of Bakersfield Life, it is available at newsstands throughout Bakersfield and Kern County, as well as online. Visit bakersfieldlife.com. We are working on the next issue and tackling the subject of dating. Young or old, modern or old-fashioned, who hasn't had a dating experience to remember, or one we'd rather forget?
I 'd enjoy hearing from you. Please feel free to post here or e-mail me at itmannersalot@hotmail.com with your questions and thoughts.
Lastly, several weeks ago KGET 17News featured this blog as well as a local children's etiquette course taught by Iris Doyle in a story. You can learn more about Iris' programs and contact her at her website simply-manners.com.
Finally, as we head into Super Bowl weekend, I know many of you will be enjoying good food and good times with family and friends, whether your team is playing Sunday or not. Here's some football finger- food for thought: If you are the guest at someone else's home or apartment, DO take something. Super Bowl Sunday is the mother ship of potluck days. Even if it is something you grabbed at the market on your way over, the host or hostess, and especially their guests will appreciate it. The pre-game, actual game with commercials and half-time entertainment are long enough. Don't overstay your welcome. And don't scare people with your enthusiasm for the plays.
Win or lose, remember when it is over, to thank them for their hospitality.
And if the football revelry is on your home turf, have fun while making sure your guests are enjoying themselves. I will be discreetly picking up used plates and napkins as I go, so as not to make my guests feel as though they need to abandon the game to help me clean up.
I also make sure the game is on in EVERY room (restrooms included) so visitors don't miss a second of the action.
The best gift a host or hostess can receive is a guest's genuine appreciation for having had a wonderful time. Make your guests feel welcome and send them home wishing to return again soon. Afterall, it does 'manner', a lot!
Happy Super Bowl Weekend! GO PACKERS!!
If you have not yet seen the latest issue of Bakersfield Life, it is available at newsstands throughout Bakersfield and Kern County, as well as online. Visit bakersfieldlife.com. We are working on the next issue and tackling the subject of dating. Young or old, modern or old-fashioned, who hasn't had a dating experience to remember, or one we'd rather forget?
I 'd enjoy hearing from you. Please feel free to post here or e-mail me at itmannersalot@hotmail.com with your questions and thoughts.
Lastly, several weeks ago KGET 17News featured this blog as well as a local children's etiquette course taught by Iris Doyle in a story. You can learn more about Iris' programs and contact her at her website simply-manners.com.
Finally, as we head into Super Bowl weekend, I know many of you will be enjoying good food and good times with family and friends, whether your team is playing Sunday or not. Here's some football finger- food for thought: If you are the guest at someone else's home or apartment, DO take something. Super Bowl Sunday is the mother ship of potluck days. Even if it is something you grabbed at the market on your way over, the host or hostess, and especially their guests will appreciate it. The pre-game, actual game with commercials and half-time entertainment are long enough. Don't overstay your welcome. And don't scare people with your enthusiasm for the plays.
Win or lose, remember when it is over, to thank them for their hospitality.
And if the football revelry is on your home turf, have fun while making sure your guests are enjoying themselves. I will be discreetly picking up used plates and napkins as I go, so as not to make my guests feel as though they need to abandon the game to help me clean up.
I also make sure the game is on in EVERY room (restrooms included) so visitors don't miss a second of the action.
The best gift a host or hostess can receive is a guest's genuine appreciation for having had a wonderful time. Make your guests feel welcome and send them home wishing to return again soon. Afterall, it does 'manner', a lot!
Happy Super Bowl Weekend! GO PACKERS!!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
RUDEST CITIES
Someone asked me recently about how I came to create this blog. I had to think for a minute. It wasn't just the frustration of daily dealings with so many ill-mannered people. It went deeper and further than that, 3,000 miles away in fact. Several years ago our family invested in real estate, and in turn, a lifestyle, in the South. In doing so, I came to realize the stark contrasts between the cradle of civility - the South, and the have-nots - the West Coast. Every visit further underscores the great divide of social graces.
So today I read with great interest the latest poll on America's Rudest Cities. I was not surprised. I could be blindfolded mid-flight and know the minute we've crossed over into California airspace. The golden state isn't alone. New York and Philadelphia deserve top 'worst' status as well.
Note that there are no Southern cities on the list, if you don't count Orlando, Miami and Dallas. Herewith is the link to the list at Huffingtonpost.com. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/19/10-rudest I look forward to hearing from you.
So today I read with great interest the latest poll on America's Rudest Cities. I was not surprised. I could be blindfolded mid-flight and know the minute we've crossed over into California airspace. The golden state isn't alone. New York and Philadelphia deserve top 'worst' status as well.
Note that there are no Southern cities on the list, if you don't count Orlando, Miami and Dallas. Herewith is the link to the list at Huffingtonpost.com. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/19/10-rudest I look forward to hearing from you.
Monday, January 17, 2011
MIND YOUR MANNERS
Thank you Leslie Lopez and 17News for shining a bright light on the demise of social graces. Tonight's feature by Lopez profiled Iris Doyle and this blog. If you didn't have a chance to view it, go to kget.com to view the story. I will post Iris' contact information as soon as possible. This is a topic that resonates with so many of us. Remember, manners and etiquette have nothing to do with where you live, how much or how little you have, or your blood lines. It is about treating each other with respect and kindness, every minute of every day.
Friday, January 14, 2011
CIVILITY
President Obama's call this week for a return to civility was delicately woven through perhaps one of his best speeches, striking the difficult balance between embracing a shocked nation with assurances of better days while honoring those Americans whose lives were forever changed last Saturday in Tucson.
The welcomed dialogue now taking place around the country of civility and civil rhetoric has all roads leading back to Washington. The horrific events last weekend outside the Tucson Safeway defy logic, explanation or reason. History is still unfolding.
But since civility has been painfully kicked onto the national stage, i'd like to share with you a wonderful op-ed piece by columnist David Brooks in this week's New York Times:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/14/opinion/14brooks.html?_r=1
and George Washington's Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation: A Book of Etiquette: http://www.history.org/almanack/life/manners/rules2.cfm
If you don't have a copy or have never read the latter, please do. Both links are well worth your time and vital foods for thought.
The welcomed dialogue now taking place around the country of civility and civil rhetoric has all roads leading back to Washington. The horrific events last weekend outside the Tucson Safeway defy logic, explanation or reason. History is still unfolding.
But since civility has been painfully kicked onto the national stage, i'd like to share with you a wonderful op-ed piece by columnist David Brooks in this week's New York Times:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/14/opinion/14brooks.html?_r=1
and George Washington's Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation: A Book of Etiquette: http://www.history.org/almanack/life/manners/rules2.cfm
If you don't have a copy or have never read the latter, please do. Both links are well worth your time and vital foods for thought.
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