CELEBRATED ADVICE

The shelves in the bookstore aisles devoted to social graces and self-improvement are filled with great reads with useful advice. Make room for the newest, by newswoman Katie Couric, who smartly is now on a book tour she hopes will deflect some of the speculation surrounding her broadcasting future. "The Best Advice I Ever Got: Lessons From Extraordinary Lives", strings together pearls of wisdom from some of Couric's most celebrated interviews from the past spanning the worlds of pop culture and politics. Among those called on to share their advice is actress Nia Vardalos, who Couric writes, has made a conscious decision to react to society's rudeness by being even nicer. "Never fall to the level of the behavior of the people around you," Couric recounted to Matt Lauer on the Today Show, adding how that little bit of advice struck her. Couric went on to say that on the subject of manners, it really does matter, always encouraging young people looking for a job to write thank-you notes, make good eye contact, give a firmer handshake, and never forget that there are no second chances to make a first impression. I too took a moment to digest Vardalos' attitude. It is, afterall, so much easier to hit incivility with incivility. It is much harder to grin and bear it, rise above and take the higher road - over and over and over. But eventually, that lemonade-out-of-lemons approach will become habit, and hopefully contagious. Give it a try. I plan to do the same. Thanks Nia for the lesson, and to Katie for shining the spotlight on social graces. It DOES 'Manner' A Lot!

GRACE UNDER PRESSURE

Tragedies bring out the best and worst in people, as history has shown. Some events are so horrific, they leave us with a loss of words and a sense of complete helplessness. In the wake of the devastating Japan earthquake, the stories don't seem to be getting any better. It's all still too fresh, raw and surreal. But this morning's Los Angeles Times featured a piece by Laura King, reporting from Tokyo, on the impeccable manners of the Japanese - the only thing that doesn't appear to have been destroyed by the seismic wrath. You can read the story online at www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/.
Reading it on page A6 of the Times is gut-wrenching, with the accompanying photo above the fold across two pages that no words can help comprehend. May this remind us all to give generously to aid organizations providing relief to those affected by this catastrophe, and to take stock of our own preparedness while taking note of the grace of the Japanese. It DOES Manner A lot!

BAKERSFIELD LIFE & Super Sunday

Thank you blog followers and readers for your positive response to the debut of this blog's companion column, It Manners A Lot, which premiered in last Saturday's February issue of Bakersfield Life Magazine. I look forward to having you along on this journey as we help polish social graces.
If you have not yet seen the latest issue of Bakersfield Life, it is available at newsstands throughout Bakersfield and Kern County, as well as online. Visit bakersfieldlife.com. We are working on the next issue and tackling the subject of dating. Young or old, modern or old-fashioned, who hasn't had a dating experience to remember, or one we'd rather forget?
I 'd enjoy hearing from you. Please feel free to post here or e-mail me at itmannersalot@hotmail.com with your questions and thoughts.
Lastly, several weeks ago KGET 17News featured this blog as well as a local children's etiquette course taught by Iris Doyle in a story. You can learn more about Iris' programs and contact her at her website simply-manners.com.
Finally, as we head into Super Bowl weekend, I know many of you will be enjoying good food and good times with family and friends, whether your team is playing Sunday or not. Here's some football finger- food for thought: If you are the guest at someone else's home or apartment, DO take something. Super Bowl Sunday is the mother ship of potluck days. Even if it is something you grabbed at the market on your way over, the host or hostess, and especially their guests will appreciate it. The pre-game, actual game with commercials and half-time entertainment are long enough. Don't overstay your welcome. And don't scare people with your enthusiasm for the plays.
Win or lose, remember when it is over, to thank them for their hospitality.
And if the football revelry is on your home turf, have fun while making sure your guests are enjoying themselves. I will be discreetly picking up used plates and napkins as I go, so as not to make my guests feel as though they need to abandon the game to help me clean up.
I also make sure the game is on in EVERY room (restrooms included) so visitors don't miss a second of the action.
The best gift a host or hostess can receive is a guest's genuine appreciation for having had a wonderful time. Make your guests feel welcome and send them home wishing to return again soon. Afterall, it does 'manner', a lot!
Happy Super Bowl Weekend! GO PACKERS!!